how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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