She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
