thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
