I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
