i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I want to be your penis for a week.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
