so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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