No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize