he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
