i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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