They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
