My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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