guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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