im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
