I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
