I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
