i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize