Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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