Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
