My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
