yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
