summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize