He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk is not a location!
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