Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
