I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
