So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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