Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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