My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
