whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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