i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
