she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Randomize
