He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
