She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
