wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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