so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
