some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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