He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
