i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
