I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
