Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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