he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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