That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
