just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
