You just made me feel so damn special
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
