my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
