I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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