i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
