Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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