i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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