My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
