He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
