I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
