Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
North Korea, Best Korea!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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