I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
