he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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