This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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