AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hippo gnu deer
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
